Secret Blogs
by Tashii Cat
Summary: The dream where all the nations had turned into opposite genders leaves Estonia embarrassed enough to hope he doesn't see them like that in reality again. Little does he realise that God wasn't going to let him escape from his fantasies that easily!
1. Prologue

I'm sure plenty of people had awaked in the middle of a meeting from a nightmare and wished they didn't have so many eyes on them. You don't realize you screamed between dream and reality until after you grasped the fact, that you're in a place that's definitely not your home and your confused colleagues wonder what terrified you enough to return to reality. That and they're half concerned about the sort of reprimand you'd receive for sleeping, while someone else tried to present information in a way that you couldn't help but sleep out of boredom. It could also be the fact that you were so worried about your own presentation on whatever issues that needed to be addressed, that you've run at least five simulations with your slideshow, rearranged your notes and other important documents three times, made several changes to both slideshow and papers along the way and checked your suit or dress for any imperfections that happened to catch your eye on a microscopic scale.

In my case, I must have done the latter. Not even two cups of coffee sustained my attention to the other nation's presentations and now I have those same nations look at me as though I've randomly yelled an absurd word. For the rest of the meeting, I tensed in the wood and velvet puce chair with my hands on my lap while I counted down the minutes to the end.

When everyone was finally dismissed, Lithuania and Latvia were the only ones who approached me as I sat in my seat dazed and slightly baffled with the formal brown walled surroundings.

"Estonia?" Lithuania's voice was the first thing I heard. It snapped me out of my stupor but I quickly glanced at both his and Latvia's chests to see if they still possessed their feminine busts. I slapped myself, both mentally and literally, across my cheek. Why did I have a perverted thought like that just now!? It didn't help that Lithuania's brown hair was shoulder length so he kind of looked like a girl and Latvia… well…

"You are looking like you had bad dream or something, yes?" A dream? I certainly don't remember falling asleep twice although now that Latvia mentioned it, I did have a dream. Whatever I dreamt must have been one horrific nightmare. I released a sigh of relief and relaxed into the chair.

"Oh good. It was just nightmare," I reassured myself and let the hazy details fade to the back of my mind.

"What kind of nightmare?" I heard someone with a high-pitched voice approached me from behind. Normally I feel anxious when someone did that. It was something Russia did a lot when I had to live at his place after the Second World War. He always had this uncanny ability of materializing behind anyone without them realizing until it was too late and even after I finally moved out and gained my independence, I unconsciously glance over my shoulder in hopes that I didn't meet with the frightening nation. For that reason the tension didn't leave my body.

"Well, it uh… everyone… that is everyone except me had turned into a girl," I stammered.

"Hmm… I like that story." It wasn't until seconds after the person behind me expressed that statement that I suddenly realized what I just said.

What possessed me to say something so random out loud!? It may be something Latvia would say without thinking but definitely not me!

First I examined Lithuania and Latvia's chests to see if they expanded and then I had to go and say that of all things! To top it off, I turned my head to find the creepy smile that belonged to none other than Russia. The feeling on my shoulders spontaneously returned to find his giant hands was on them too! I wanted to jump out of the chair, gather everything I could cram into my black brief case as quickly as possible, and run out of the building towards the hotel and lock myself in my booked room for the rest of the day. I just had to wait for Russia to get off me and leave before I could make my escape.

I was in that chair for two minutes more than I liked to have been before Russia finally exited the room, but I decided to wait a while longer just to calm myself down and get the timing right so I won't bump into him along the way. That gave me time to put away my papers in an orderly fashion; however Lithuania and Latvia were still here since they worried about Russia's sudden ambush and calmed themselves down the same length of time I did.

"Are you sure you're all right Estonia? You still look pale," Lithuania couldn't have hit the nail more on the head if he tried. Of course anyone would be mortified after waking up and drawing attention to themselves, and say such embarrassing things before the one person you don't want behind you keeps you hostage for longer than necessary! Even if it was unintentional, the experience was still terrifying! I wouldn't be surprised if I was in another nightmare and I woke up in this room again under different circumstances although that seemed unlikely since things couldn't possibly be more normal than this, right? Right?

I don't know why I wished this to be a dream but I think I've waited long enough for Russia to completely leave the vicinity so I push my glasses to the bridge of my nose, stand from my chair and clear my throat. "I'm fine. I'm just getting over the shock, that's all," I put on my business like composure and raised a confident smile in hopes that they didn't bring up questions about my confession. Lithuania and Latvia looked like they tried to faze me with their concerned gazes before smiles tugged at their lips too.

"Well you take care," Latvia beamed with his choppy blonde hair and glistening blue eyes. I mentally slapped myself again. Blue eyes. Just blue eyes. They don't glisten at all. I tried not to drop my assertive expression before I turn from them and simply walk away without any acceleration in my speed.

"Yes, you take care of yourselves," My voice almost cracked before I turned left at the door and picked up the pace towards the nearest elevator.

By the time I got to one, I didn't register my finger jabbed multiple times on the call button until England's voice jolted me out of my incessant panic.

"You're going to break your finger like that if you keep stabbing the button that hard," I snap my head to the Englishman and Japan who happened to accompany him but for one moment and only a few seconds of a moment, I swore England styled his hair into pig-tails and Japan looked a lot cuter…

*Slap*

Stop it Estonia! What has gotten into you!? Stop imagining everyone you know as girls!

"Estonia, the door's just opened. Aren't you coming inside?" Japan interrupted this time and I blinked to see England's hair is as blonde and messy as ever and Japan wore his white suit, not a pink and purple kimono.

Now the elevator's a less than appealing idea now that both nations stared at me like they must have done when I screamed at the meeting room. "U-Um… you know what? I changed my mind!" I turned my head to find a flight of stairs and left England and Japan with perplexed expressions before the elevator doors closed.

Forget calm and composed! I wanted, no, needed to get to my hotel as fast as possible! I must have ignored quite a few people in my haste because I certainly couldn't recall speaking to anyone I knew. I just wanted to check back into my hotel, find my room and lock myself in there and hope all the lewd thoughts that plagued my mind was only for today!

I don't know how I managed to get there let alone get there unscathed but I must have miraculously walked a mile or so before I arrived at the Haven Hotel and checked into room 252.

I climbed more stairs and literally crashed through the door and hastily locked it before I eventually pressed my back against it and heaved a huge sigh.

I'd probably look back on this one-day, laugh it off and wonder why I felt so flustered about the whole ordeal. I bet everyone at some point in their lives imagined how their friends and colleagues would look in the opposite gender. I can imagine someone like France think of things like that all the time! I know I'm don't normally think of such ridiculous things but so does everyone else. This must be a one off for me and by the next morning, the novelty would have worn off.

I strip my face of my glasses and rub my eyes. Goodness I'm so exhausted after all that running! What I need is a shower and some rest. That's a good idea! I can wash all my worries and ludicrous thoughts like nations looking like the opposite gender. It's not that I have a problem with transgender issues as such. I was just startled to find every nation apart from myself had changed into different genders.

I ambled to the bathroom and removed my suit and underwear before I stepped into the warm, refreshing shower and as expected, I started to forget the awkwardness of my actions from when I woke up screaming.

After my shower, I updated my blog as I normally did and ordered some vegetable soup with black rye bread just to further put myself at ease. If there's one thing that can cheer me up, it's black rye bread.

I felt a lot better after my meal and decided to settle down in bed. I must have been really tired because when my head hit the pillow, my mind went completely blank.

That was until goodness knows how long later when I heard a woman's voice call my name.


	2. Meeting Alice Vargas

"Eduard… wake up you sleepy head."

That woman's voice must be one of the hotel's cleaning staff, who just decided at goodness knows what time at night was the perfect time to tidy the room I currently struggled to sleep in. She just happened to know my human name, which is impossible because only other nations knew them.

And what kind of staff member calls any of their guests 'sleepy head'? They'd be given at least a warning if someone got called that and complained.

I may as well see what time it is now that I've started to stir. I expected to see the red L.E.D. numbers glow in the darkness but instead, my eyes widen to a gentle smile on what appeared to be a woman's face and those hazel orbs… I recognize them! No no no! This can't be happening! Not again!

"You're finally awake. You took a really long siesta didn't you?" Her head rested on her folded arms like they were a pillow and spoke with a kind of bold continental accent. I let out a yelp and sit upright. I knew who I assumed slept next to me!

"No! I-Italy!? This can't be happening again!" I cried and clasped my hands on the sides of my head with my fingers just underneath my blonde hair. 'This has to be a dream' was a mantra I repeated in my head over and over again. The woman I called Italy sat up and cocked her head to the side with slight confusion.

"What happened again?" She asked before she picked something up from the ground. "Why don't you put your glasses on and tell me?"

My glasses? Right my glasses. I was so caught up in my panic that I forgot I ever worn them. "Um… thank you…" I stuttered and took my spectacles off her before I placed them on my nose. When my vision cleared from the blurriness, I could clearly see Italy's long, auburn hair tied in a ponytail with a rebellious curl that bounced at the side much like her male counterpart. I glance down at her short-sleeved khaki shirt and skirt while I skipped over her chest until I looked at her hazel eyes. They really did look like the male Italy's.

"Eduard? Are you all right? You've been staring at me like I have some tomato sauce on my face." How rude of me! I must have looked like a pervert while checking her out! I couldn't help it! I'm still in shock! I placed a hand on my head just to keep it from exploding from all this confusion.

"I'm sorry. I just… One minute I was asleep in my hotel room and the next thing I know I wake up," I looked around to find white daisies scattered on the lush green grass around us. "…here."

Italy let out a giggle. "Your imagination is so fanciful. You don't remember having pasta before we came here and took our afternoon siesta?"

It was obvious I didn't. The only other time I've seen this woman was in my last dream back at the meeting room. I seriously couldn't recall the conversations about current affairs while we strolled down the cobblestone roads, past the white buildings with terracotta roofs until we ate at a pizzeria Italy liked to go for pasta, before she took me to a field where we fell asleep under the field maple tree we usually go to.

How on earth did I remember all that? I definitely know for a fact I shouldn't have known any of what I just recalled! I shouldn't!

"Eduard, you're staring into space again. Are you sure you're all right?" That's a good question. Ever since I've had that dream, I've acted nervous and awkward around everyone else I knew and now they're going to wonder if I'm sick or losing my mind. I don't want to admit I'm crazy since this is the first dream I've had with one of the nations who I subconsciously turned into a girl.

Hold on, if this is a dream it shouldn't really matter since it's not going to affect my relationship with the male Italy in real life. At that thought, I let out a laugh and gave Italy the first smile since I arrived in this field. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what came over me," I scratched behind my head. "It's all right now Italy. I just wasn't thinking straight."

"Alice."

"Huh?"

"We're not in a meeting now so it's Alice. Ah-lee-che." Oh yes that's right. Alice. My mind must have been so confused I forgot her name. It's strange since I don't think I've ever heard it before and yet it sounded so familiar.

"Come on. How about I treat you to some sfogliatelle*, yes? That should wake you up in no time!" I wouldn't say desserts would make anyone feel refreshed. It would certainly give enough sugar to have some energetic kick but like all good things, it'll wear off and leave people feeling tired. Still, it's a nice gesture and it's one I'm willing to accept.

"Sure. I'd like that," I smile as both of us stood to our feet.

"All right then! I'll race you!" Alice giggled in excitement and broke into a sprint. I wanted to call to her just to wait up. She's certainly fast but then again I heard the other Italy is quite speedy on his feet. Her auburn ponytail swayed from side to side like a happy dog wagged its tail. I like that about Alice, she seems to be in constant happiness and when things gets tough, she rises through the darkness and fights for the good days. Even if she's physically stronger than the other Italy, I suppose fighting for happiness is something they have in common.

Suddenly I could hear a cheerful melody play out of nowhere. Not that I minded or anything since some dreams can be accompanied by music but it's a tune I know and it kind of suits the mood Alice is in as she ran towards the town.

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**Author's Notes:**

*** Sfogliatelle: They are shell-shaped filled pastries native to Italian cuisine. "Sfogliatelle" means "small, thin leaves/layers," as the pastry's texture resembles stacked leaves.**

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**I know I should really put this type of author's message in the first chapter but long time no see! If you're wondering why certain fan fiction chapters aren't coming as quickly as you like, check out my profile page. It explains all there.**

**Anyways, this idea has always stuck by me even though it took on a completely different form. I think the Nyotalia episode kind of pushed me to write this and that's all I really have to say about it. Please leave a fave or a review and let me know what you think so far.**


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